This is an ATOMIC Public Service Announcement.
Because March has once again “come in like a lion” we ask you to please be mindful of the lions that have stationed themselves outside of our ballrooms. Please do not come to ATOMIC-Irvine or ATOMIC-Placentia wearing pork chop trousers or jackets made entirely of lunchmeat as this will attract unwanted attention and may prevent you from dancing when one of the aforementioned lions decide you’re pretty tasty. We also discourage any animal prints, as this may cause the lions to mistake you for prey. It’s very difficult during a lion attack to determine if he’s asking you to dance or trying to have you for dinner, so pay close attention to his footwork as that is the only way to tell the difference.
Please do not pet the lions as they take great offense to being referred to as “good kitties” and once you start petting them you will be required to do so until they decide that they are done. Or that they’d like to gnaw on your Aris Allens.
We recommend that dancers carry laser pointers with them at all times as,
should one unintentionally or otherwise offend one of these lions, they are easily distracted by chasing that magical dot that comes from nowhere. And, as a last resort, be sure to have a bit of chocolate on you at all times as everyone knows that lions love chocolate above anything else.
In the event that one of these lions get rowdy please stop what you’re doing and immediately start doing the Macarena. It will cause the lions (and everyone else) to scatter.
This announcement is valid for one month only, as by the end of the month the lions will be transformed into lambs.